Simple Food and Fitness Messages Are Not Working to Make Us Healthier or Happier. How Can We Change That?

• “I can’t believe you are eating that!” (Said when I was choosing candied bacon off a buffet line.)
• “Are you at the gym to work off the great dinner we had last night?” (Said the day after a dinner at our golf club.)
• “You look good, have you lost weight?” (Said to me my entire adult life.)
• “You should only shop the perimeter of the store.” (Said to me in the cereal aisle of the grocery store.)
• “You shouldn’t be eating potatoes.” (Said to me when I bought a bag of potatoes at a Farmer’s Market.)

If any of these lines sound familiar to you, you’re not alone. Why do our friends, family, and even strangers find it acceptable to guilt or shame us on our food or fitness choices? And consider your own actions….do you say similar things to people you know? You may pass it off as “just kidding,” but words matter.

In a thought-provoking session at a sponsored conference, the speakers helped us “derail the shame.” We are probably all aware of body shaming, prevalent on social media, but we are less aware of food or fitness shaming and the effect it can have on our self-worth.

 Research, conducted and presented by Southpaw Insights, surveyed over 2000 consumers along with 250 dietitians and 250 fitness professionals. The findings show that consumers hear the simple messages by health and fitness professionals saying how easy it is to achieve nutrition or fitness goals. Hearing messages like “just eat less and move more” or “eat this, not that,” or tagging foods as “good bad,” sounds easy and simple, but the reality is not so straightforward. Life gets in the way…time, motivation, and cost are all in short supply in all our lives. Consumers surveyed said that they are left feeling confused, overwhelmed, and shamed when they don’t meet their goals.

How many of you feel bad when you eat a food you consider unhealthy? How many of you feel guilty when you miss a workout? Our society praises “clean” eating (whatever that means!) and tough workouts so it isn’t hard to see why that filters down to us leading to guilt and shame.

As a dietitian, I want people choose foods that nourish their bodies and I also want foods to be affordable and enjoyable. In Food & Fitness After 50 we identify four principles of an optimal diet for older adults:

1. Inclusion of all energy-containing nutrients (that is, carbohydrate, protein, and fat)
2. A focus on nutrient-rich foods
3. Concern for disease risk
4. Enjoyment of eating and mealtime

When I use the term diet, I’m not talking about weight loss, but the entirety of what you eat. There is not one best “diet.” A Flexitarian, Mediterranean, DASH, or Vegetarian dietary pattern is healthful, it’s your choice.

But, the last principle, enjoyment of eating and mealtime, is important to our discussion of guilt and shame. A food that brings you enjoyment when you eat it, is affordable, and is an important part of your cultural or ethnic identity should be celebrated, not demonized. Don’t fall into the “good food/bad food” trap that forms the basis of media headlines or social media posts. No one food will ruin your health, nor will one or two missed works derail your fitness.

JC Lippold, fitness expert and speaker, suggests adopting these behaviors:

• Do little things often. Small steps can build big success.
• Seek happiness to find healthiness. Do what makes you happy and healthy can follow.
• Minimize the minimizing language (“I was only able to work out twice this week,” of “I’m just a walker.”)
• Be kind to yourself, “you are enough and don’t let anyone sell you on the idea that they can help you become enough.”

And remember, good nutrition is only good if it is eaten. If your family likes sugar-sweetened breakfast cereal, that’s OK. Even a cereal with some added sugar cereal is fortified with needed vitamins and minerals. And, it keeps good company, 90% of cereal is eaten with milk, a nutrient-rich beverage, and 15% with fruit (usually banana), that boosts fiber and potassium intakes.

So, next time you are tempted to say something or are told something, think about:

Instead of this….                                                        Say this              

You look great for your age                                      You look great.

You look great, have you lost weight?                   You look great.

Can’t believe you are eating that.                           That looks delicious, enjoy!

Are you here to work off what you ate?                Enjoy your workout!

Only shop the perimeter of the store.                   Great nutrition can be found in all aisles.

Junk food                                                                  Food

Disclosure: I attended a sponsored conference, and this session was sponsored by General Mills. I was not compensated or asked to write this post. I believe in this message.

Dr. Chris Rosenbloom is a registered dietitian and nutrition professor emerita at Georgia State University. She is the co-author of Food & Fitness After 50 and writes “Fit to Eat,” a blog on optimal aging. Click here to follow her blog.