Originally, this post was to be titled “Like Mother, Like Daughter” because I interviewed two incredible women for this story. Maxine (aka “Granna”) aged 89 and her daughter, Kathy, who is in her mid-60s. The more I talked to them, the more I realized that this is perfect feel-good Thanksgiving post. And, I’m not talking about the “isn’t everybody happy and wonderful” kind of Facebook post. This is a story of maternal influence and family love.
The Value of Education
Maxine was born at the start of the Great Depression and her mother instilled in her the value of hard work and the importance of education. After high school graduation, she attended business school and moved from North Carolina to Georgia, where she met her husband. Maxine’s work ethic and resilience lives on through her son, Bill, a retired dentist, and daughter Kathy, a retired educator and associate superintendent of a county school system. Today, she instills those same values in her six grandchildren, and soon to be nine great-grandchildren. She is a lifelong learner and while she didn’t exactly embrace new technology, she can’t image not owning a smart phone, so she can view pictures and videos of her family via texts and Instagram. And, facetime keeps her in close contact between visits.
Retirement and the freedom to be physically active
I first saw Maxine in a yoga class. Twice a week, there she was, second row from the front on the left side of the class…. regular as clockwork. I admired this woman who could hold the tree pose longer than I could. I asked her about her activity and she said, “oh, I’m not that active.” In addition to twice weekly yoga, she is a regular at strength-training class two days a week, walks two miles a day, and plays golf. I respectfully disagree that she is “not that active!”
For Kathy, while she had always walked and worked in her yard, her life centered around her work and family. Having four sons who were all active in sports from middle school through college, kept her busy. In fact, all four of her sons were captains of their school’s football teams. But, when she retired four years ago, she started walking with Maxine (who was 85 at the time) and her mother told her she “needed to start lifting weights to stay strong.” So, she started weight training alongside her mom. Being retired gave her the time to do more. She can be found at the local YMCA every morning for different classes: boot camp, strength training, high-intensity interval training (HIIT), yoga and dance aerobics…. she tries it all. Her attitude is “I’ll try any new exercise…no one is grading me so it’s fun to try something new that will nourish and foster a healthy, happy life.”
Maxine grew up in a time when dinner was a “meat, a starch, and a vegetable” but today she is a little more flexible in her meal planning. She starts every day with a hearty bowl of Kashi cereal with added oat cereal, homemade granola, low-fat milk, and a banana with added cinnamon, a dash of olive oil, and sunflower seeds. After morning exercise, she snacks on almonds or peanuts for a protein boost. She makes incredible sourdough rolls (I was fortunate to be given some after our interview!) and she fed her grandsons and their football teammates for years. “There was always a giant submarine sandwich made with my sourdough bread in the refrigerator and the kids couldn’t get enough of it.” Kathy reminded her she always made cookies for the locker room before every home game…. with four grandsons playing football, that was a lot of cookies!
Kathy loves to good food and sometimes reminds herself to stop nibbling by going out for a walk or work in the yard. While she enjoys cooking and takes pride in preparing a simple meal, she gets more enjoyment out of being the sous chef for her husband. “Bill is a great and adventurous cook. He loves making Mexican and Thai dishes that the whole family enjoys.”
As Maxine near her 90th birthday, she says her appetite has diminished. She tries to eat more food early in the day because by evening she just doesn’t want to eat. Kathy helps her by inviting her for dinner and “not telling her what we’re cooking to surprise her.” That keeps her interest up.
For Kathy, the biggest challenge is setting her exercise goals too high. “If I tell myself I’ll walk a mile, even after exercising at the YMCA, I’m not happy unless I walk two miles.”
Words of advice
Maxine’s advice to others is simple and straightforward with a dash of good humor. “Get up and move! You have to look forward and you can’t back up!”
Kathy’s advice echoes her mother’s words, “Being active is a conscious decision and commitment to do things that are productive, provides enjoyment, and leads to a positive health outcome. My father always told me that what you put into to something is what you’ll get out, so I try to remember that in everything I do.” That applies not just to eating well and moving well, but to being well. “Working and building relationships is so important. When my sons got married I vowed to be a wonderful mother-in-law and the best one I could be!”
Maxine, Kathy, and the entire family spent many years on the “football caravan,” supporting their children at games even though it meant splitting up so someone could be at each game. Kathy’s son Ben was the star quarterback at Auburn University and in the 2000 football program he was interviewed and summed up the importance of family.
“I think my parents did a great job of making us realize the importance of family. All the support that I got from my parents, brothers, and grandmother is something that I’ll never be able to repay.”